Here’s how most of us have learned to ride a bike:

You got on a bike. Maybe you had training wheels, maybe you had a parent hold you and run behind you. You practice right from the beginning. You may have fallen off the bike. You may have gotten some bruises. Someone picked you up. You received encouragement to get back on the bike. At some point the training wheels come off, the parent slowed down behind you. You’re riding on your own. You learned it because you discovered something that no book could have given you, no one could have explained to you. You have discovered “balance”.

Here’s how most companies go about leadership development:

They give their employees books to read, courses to attend and conferences to learn from. The learning is supposed to happen in a classroom – often not connected to the actual situation. At some point the class ends, the book is over. People may have had a short insight and they liked something. Then they go back to work. Reality sets in. The emotional high from the classroom insight is long gone. Maybe people remember a couple of tips and tricks. They have not learned leadership.

No one would attempt to learn to ride a bike by reading books about it or by attending classes that have no bikes in them. The real learning happens in the real situation. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not against classes, books or conferences. They play a crucial role in the process. The real development happens when we make the cognitive learning our own by applying and practicing it. Cognitive learning is just a part of it.

Four Steps to Real Learning

Select the Situation: start by picking a real-life situation in which you want to improve. What’s an area where you want to grow, where you see others have more impact or where you’re not at the level you’d like to be.

Chose a “Support System”: find someone to help you in your development. This could be someone who observes you in the situation and later gives you feedback, it could be a mentor or it could be a trainer or coach who provides you with a tool of what to do. This could also be a training class where you get insights that you didn’t have before.

Line up Encouragement: Make sure to have someone who encourages you when things don’t go well. This is not someone who helps you with the task of leading but who helps you with being of a leader.

Repeat and Improve: Don’t leave it at trying something out just once or twice. Make sure to practice until you got it. Like with riding the bike, where you practiced until you found balance, practice the situation until you discover what you need to repeat it.

Take the next step

This week, pick a leadership situation where you want to learn more. Get someone to support you in trying it out. Ask them for a tip, for an insight into the situation or maybe even to shadow you as you try it out