You have probably heard others refer to someone as having executive presence. The term executive presence is used a lot about how someone comes across in meetings and conversations. From my experience, the term is misleading. While the concept is important for an executive, at its heart, it’s not about the executive part. The key is in the presence part. Presence is not limited to the executive level; it is a skill that can be learned and practiced by anyone regardless of level. It is not an executive presence that matters – it’s an everyone presence.

Some time ago, I conducted a strategic development initiative for a tech organization. Part of the project was an interview and focus group program with all levels of the organization. There were undoubtedly different demeanors that correlated somewhat with the hierarchical level of the individual. Yet, these differences were based mainly on appearance and being dominating. Nothing wrong with that. But there was one person in particular who left a much deeper impression on me. He exhibited full presence. He was not part of the senior leadership team, he was not particularly dominating, he didn’t have an answer ready to everything, and he didn’t claim to have all the solutions. Instead, he was willing to suspend his judgment, driven not by what he could say but by what he could discover, and able to hold the awkwardness of a long pause when thinking was more helpful than speaking.

It is not merely about a polished appearance or about the impression you make on other people. It is also more than the ability to address whatever comes up confidently. Presence is about your mindset. It is about how you open up to the other person and the context of the situation. It is that presence that makes you seem like an executive – not because you have been promoted to that level but because you are ready to have the impact that fits that level.

Here’s something to try out to increase your presence. Before you articulate a solution, say that you’ve heard this before, or even let your inner voice form a silent opinion in your mind, do this:

• Consider silence: You don’t have to speak right away when the other person stops talking. Consider pausing for another couple of seconds. It’s easy to say the wrong thing – silence is rarely the wrong thing.
• Ask about the context: Ask yourself, what is new in this situation? What is different in this particular context?
• Curiosity beats knowledge: Sometimes, we think that we understand the other person prematurely. We think we “got it.” The belief that we understand closes us to see something new. Always, ask yourself (and the other person) what there is that you don’t know yet.

 

Take the next step

 

This week, grow your presence. In meetings and conversations, slow down. Learn more by listening more and learning more.