Last week I had a conversation with a colleague of mine in leadership development, John Affleck. We talked about what it takes for a leader to be open to their personal and professional growth and be ready to level up in their performance. The way John summed it up was profound and immediately resonated with me:

It is not the leaders who are looking to get their questions answered – but the leaders who are looking to get their answers questioned.

If this also resonates with you, here are three thoughts to step into that kind of leadership:

1. Watch the trigger: When someone gives us feedback that we don’t like or makes a comment that doesn’t fit with our way of seeing things, it will likely trigger us. It makes us want to defend our position and advocate for what we think to be true. Watch out for situations where this happens. Notice when the inner voice in your head nudges you to defend your position.
2. Get curious: When you notice the trigger, change the inner dialogue in your head. Instead of getting ready to advocate for your position, get yourself to be curious. Tell yourself to watch out for things that are new to you, something you haven’t heard yet, something that is intriguing.
3. Ask one more question: when you got yourself to be curious, ask one question. Ask a question that is not a masked statement. “Have you not considered the financial implications?” is grammatically a question, but in reality, a comment that the other person hasn’t thought enough about finances. Ask a real question, borne out of curiosity and not the desire to be right.

Even though I am a big fan of putting curiosity first, I’m not suggesting that this is all that is needed. The other part about John’s quite that I like is that it assumes the leader has some answers to start with. Those starting answers should not be pure guesses. The answers we start with should be good ones – based on our best expertise, experience, and efforts. Being ready to challenge these kinds of answers is a sign of great leadership.

Curiosity and questions are great – if we’re able to place them above our knowledge and use them to grow our expertise. If curiosity is merely a replacement for expertise, then it’s just a veil for ignorance.

Take the Next Step

 

Consider something at work that you firmly believe to be true. Talk to others about it, and ask questions such as “what if this was not so?”, “what is this is not true?” or “what if this was different?” Instead of falling right back to the previous position, try and follow the path and see where it leads you.