A little while ago, a friend of mine planned to host a fancy get-together for a few friends. The event was meant to be unique. He told me about the date for the event, what the plans for the event were, and that the invitations would arrive in the mail. A few days later, an elegant looking envelope with a heavy stock card arrived in the mail. Among all the details on the card, this phrase caught my attention:

Black Tie Optional

I had seen this phrase many times before, but for some reason, it hit me this time. I was wondering if it was really optional. Many questions raced through my mind: didn’t my friend want this to be special, and would he prefer everyone to wear black tie but felt it would put some people off if he made it compulsory? How many people would wear black tie? Did my dinner jacket and pants still fit, or had I “outgrown” them?

And then, I realized that the phrase could also be printed on the “invitation” for our entire lives. We are “invited”/encouraged/choosing/able to do many things in our professional and personal lives. We have specific patterns in which we go about everything. We’re used to doing things in a set way. Without us noticing, there’s a small phrase written next to all our thoughts and actions, and the phrase is “Black Tie Optional.”

We can choose to step it up, or we can choose not to. We can choose to be extraordinary or to be ordinary. Once you realize that this choice is also a pattern, and you see that this choice permeates everything you do in life, it becomes clear:

Black Tie is Never Optional

Step it up wherever you can. Don’t settle for ordinary; go for more.

Take the Next Step

Today pay attention to where you have a choice between doing something in your usual way or where you can do better. Where can you step up? Where can you stop being ordinary? Where is extraordinary possible?

Let’s see what life is like when extraordinary is the new normal.